The Fruit of Patience
Jourdan’s Definition:
Bear with me for a second while I get a little technical. There is something in web development called the “Time to First Byte” (TTFB). It refers to the amount of time it takes your browser to receive the first piece of data from a server after you type in a site URL and click enter. It is basically a metric of speed or responsiveness. In the tech world, it is widely known that Google considers a good TTFB speed to be lower than 200 milliseconds. That is just 0.2 seconds—almost instantaneous! For perspective, if you are an average reader, it probably took you about five seconds to read this sentence. Perhaps even more shocking is that “a study by Google found that you lose over 50% of [mobile device] viewers if your page takes longer than 3 seconds to load” (Source).
What does this say about society? To me, it says we have become very inpatient. We have become so uncomfortable with waiting that when you look around in public, whether you are at a restaurant, coffee shop, doctor’s office, or train station, almost everyone is on their phone. Most likely, they feel like they have to be doing something while they are doing “nothing.” I do not blame technology for this; I blame people. I have seen this problem absent of technology as well. We lack an overall ability to focus. Never mind focusing on just one thing at a time! I think we have overemphasized multi-tasking as a means of being more productive, when in fact it can be quite the opposite. We are now discovering that multi-tasking can actually negatively affect your brain health. We watch tv while we eat dinner, we check our work email while we walk the dog, we place an Amazon order while in line at Starbucks, and we even paint our nails while driving (seriously—I actually saw this happen the other day!). I am guilty of this myself (not the nail painting, but definitely the other three). Last week, I caught myself searching for jobs while participating in a virtual conference and before I knew it, I had no idea what the presenter was talking about. I decided to put the conference video in full screen so I would not be tempted to open another tab on my browser.
Sometimes combining two things can be useful: listening to music while working out can be motivating, going on a walk while making a big decision can improve our thinking. But if we find ourselves doing multiple things at once because we feel like our value is in how productive we are, then that is when it becomes a problem. We need to change our mindsets from thinking that resting or waiting is “doing nothing.” Resting when needed does not make us lazy and waiting is not a waste of time. Instead of pursuing maximum productivity at all times, we should cultivate an attitude of patience and presence.
If this is something you struggle with, try adding time for rest in your calendar or (if you love sticky notes like me) add it to your to-do list. That way you can still “check it off your list.” Eventually, it will become more natural and you will find that you can spend time resting without the guilt of feeling unproductive. I also challenge you to put down your phone the next time you are waiting in line. Maybe even turn off the radio while you are in the car and pay closer attention to the details around you at each stoplight. The next time you start feeling upset because something does not go as expected or when you expected it, ask yourself, “Why is this making me so upset? Is there room for having more patience in this situation?” Most of the time, the answer to that second question is yes!
Impatience seems to bring out the worst in us and we always seem to take it out on others: our spouse, our children, the USPS delivery person, the cashier, the barista, the teacher, the coach, the other driver. The Bible warns us of this behavior in Proverbs 15:18:
“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
Proverbs 14:29 tells us that patience is rooted in understanding:
“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
When we replace impatience with understanding, we become more grateful, more kind, and more sympathetic. Basically, we become better humans!
Nohemi’s Definition:
Surprisingly enough patience is not my strongest fruit. In the line of work that I am in, I have to have patience since I am training adults. Training adults is not easy so my patience is tested every time 😂. I noticed something about me: when it comes to work I have all the patience in the world: when I am training, when I have deadlines, when I am brainstorming ideas or in meetings. But in the real world, my patience seems to be non-existent at times (especially with my poor hubby 😬). Sometimes the littlest things annoy me which isn’t a good thing. When I lack patience, I tend to have a shorter fuse and misinterpret conversations which again isn’t the right way to respond, especially to people. I should be able to carry over the patience I have at work into my life. So, I began to dig a little deeper and I realized where I really lack patience is when I am going through a tough time. During a tough situation, I want to hurry up and get out of it and get straight to the happy times and laughter. I want to get to the ending and not really ‘deal’ with what is going on. This week as I reflected on patience, a podcast that I was listening to called Bible Centered with Victor Jackson, the episode called The Left Hand of God really spoke to me.
What I received from that word was the link between process and patience. When we are going through a trial, GOD is not only humbling us (His left hand) but a process is happening in order for us to receive the blessing (His right hand). Victor Jackson said it best - “The right hand of God is for results, but the left hand of God is the process.” A great example that he shared was the story of Joseph. Most of us know the story of Joseph and his colorful cloak, but if you are not familiar with the story, here is a very quick synopsis:
Joseph was one of Jacob’s 12 sons. His father loved him more than any of the others and gave him a colorful cloak. His brothers were jealous of him and sold him into slavery. He was taken to Egypt and eventually became steward to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials. Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him and was unsuccessful so she falsely accused him so Joseph was thrown into prison. Due to Joesph’s gift of interpreting dreams, he was able to interpret Pharaoh’s dream and he made Joseph governor over Egypt. He wisely rationed the country’s produce in preparation for a time of famine. Jospeh’s brother came to Egypt to plead with him to give them supplies, not knowing who he was. Joseph then identified himself and invited his father and brothers to come and settle in Egypt.
To read the full story, check out Genesis 37 - 50 which I highly recommend.
During the situations that Joseph went through (the process), he had to be patient and just keep doing good. When he kept doing good, he received blessings, but there were still trials that occurred and people that wanted to destroy him. Joseph kept pushing through. When Joseph’s brother came to him he could have had the perfect revenge story. He could have denied his brothers the supplies and allowed his brothers to die, but instead he revealed himself. A patient person isn’t plotting vengeance because they know the Lord has a plan and will handle our enemies in due time.
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written : “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Jospeh’s brothers weren’t his enemies but God had a plan all along on how Joseph was going to rescue them. When Joseph revealed himself it meant what he went through didn’t change his identity, what he went through didn’t change his dream, what he went through didn’t change his belief, he was still Joseph.
When we are going through the process, we get upset. We feel like God has left us or is not listening to us. But what is actually happening is he is growing us. He is strengthening us.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
To eventually have His right hand retrieve us to the blessings, we must first go through the time of having patience.
Core Fruit:
While we are called to display all nine fruit of the Spirit, we believe each of us has a fruit that is at the core of our being. It is the fruit that we display most often, the one that defines our personality, or the one that comes easiest. As promised in the introduction of this series, we want to help you identify your “core fruit.” We felt inspired by the idea behind the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Just like knowing your love language can strengthen your relationships, so can knowing your own “core fruit.” We believe leading with the fruit of the Spirit helps us to relate better to God, and in turn others.
Your “core fruit” might be patience if:
You are calm under pressure
You are able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes
You excel in leadership roles
Puzzles are a piece of cake
You are slow to anger
Questions to think about:
How would you define “patience”? How do you feel internally when you are being impatient versus patient and what emotions come out with each? In what areas of your life could you be more patient?
